Think you need to be MORE feminine or masculine for love? Check again.
A variety of relationship experts are counseling men to pump up their masculinity and women to return to their softer feminine sides, in the hopes that some lost chemistry between the sexes will return.
With all the leading women are doing in the workplace, they've apparently lost their sex appeal. And sexual equality has done a number on men, too. With women earning the big bucks, men are taking less initiative in dating, making them appear more feminized. Experts are capitalizing on this very modern problem.
What’s great about these ideas is that they encourage men and women to think about pleasure, sexual polarity and how they want to feel. It invites both sexes to be more in touch with their bodies. Don’t we ALL need to be more in touch with our bodies? We live in a culture of talking heads, and sitting at a computer or staring into a phone all day isn’t helping.
However, what these ideas have often resulted in, is shame. Like the woman who confessed that perhaps that attractive man didn't call her back because she was too strong and should learn to be more passive.
Cuh-razy! Crazy thinking, crazy-making, insanity.
Or the gentle man who learned to use provocative pick up lines to effectively score women. But when he was ready to have a real relationship, he had no idea what to do.
We are evolving. People are transforming gender in service of becoming whole. There is so much choice about which way to go. We can switch genders or become genderless.
Therefore, I am charging men and women to be who they are and unapologetically go for what they want. If you are a woman and want to attract a very masculine man, and you believe that softening into your feminine side can help you do that, or better yet, softening will help you feel more relaxed and open, great! Men, if you feel that pumping up your inner and outer muscles will help you exit what is commonly being referred to as “the friend zone”, or better yet, you simply want to authorize yourself to take what you want, awesome! But let’s not pretend there’s something WRONG with you. Let's co-lead towards a new type of intimacy instead.
What is co-leadership, or co-authorship in relationship? It's working together towards an agreed upon vision. It may mean that occasionally one partner (male, female or other) will step back and let the other lead because the couple has decided that one partner is in charge of that area. For example, a woman who allows her husband to plan their vacations may do so out of mutual respect for his expertise in planning, and not because he's the head of the household, or because she's holding herself back from being bossy in order to be loved.
Do you resonate? Instead of being told how you need to be in order to be loved, learn how to stand in your authority in intimacy. I can help.